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Thursday, March 23, 2006

I Feel the Sheetrock...Move...Under My Feet

Walked past a construction site on Bleecker and LaGuardia today, and instead of the usual Q104 classic rock, or even the pop/pseudo-punk "rock" nonsense that dominates the airwaves these days, I heard the dulcet tones of Ms. Carole King's "It's Too Late." I found it both bizarre, and charming. These are evolved construction professionals! They enjoy a bold merlot by firelight.

By the way, Carole is looking pretty good these days, for her age. Which is 64.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Eternal Sunshine

Why is this movie so beautiful.

My heart hurts. It's funny and sad and poignant.

And I enjoy the sub-story with Kirsten Dunst and Tom Wilkinson. Mary, we agreed this was for the best. I know. Oh, god.

When Kate Winslet is as young Joel's mom's friend.

"Look at this dress! I love this dress!"

"Can I - borrow - your piece of chicken?" It was so intimate, like we were already lovers.

At the end. They sob. And then laugh.

"This is it Joel. It's gonna be gone soon. "

"What do we do?"

"Enjoy it?"

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Tig Ole Bitties

I am fond of saying this phrase, when I want to describe a breed of hussy with colossal, ferocious sweater kittens. People used it often in the region where I grew up (the deep south) to communicate this largesse of breast in a kindly, non-offensive and almost admiring tone and manner.

The particular dialect I grew up with is a Delta twang, which has it's drawbacks (it's not the charming Carolina lilt you may be thinking of), but it is such that the delivery was in a rhythm that seemed to map to the not so gentle slope of a large teat.

You'd see a Pam Anderson, or a Hattie McDaniel, or an average grandma walk by and raise your eyebrows while looking at a space somewhere to the left of your feet, on the ground. "Damn. She got TIIIIG ole bitties." The tiiiig was drawn out so that your neck often pushed your head forward, chicken-like, for a moment as you ruminated on how tig they really were. Ole Bitties was pronounced practically as one word, and you drew your head back to it's normal position, keeping your eyes carefully averted from addressing the bitties directly. Try it at home.

I googled "Tig Ole Bitties" and it turns out it's quite popular, with it's own
Urban Dictionary definition, a porn movie starring some black chicks, and even a t-shirt. Which I might have to buy.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Born in the '20's.

I can't decide if this is comforting or not. I think it is.

You should have grown up during the twenties

You are cool, sophisticated and hip – even by today’s standards. You like things before they are considered cool, and you like them long afterwards.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A Day Late, but...

Happy Belated Valentine's Day, from TastyFat (and Porkins).

Friday, February 03, 2006

Asian Pirate's 5 Year Plan

Today is Sweet Cheek's29th birthday. Her day has already been filled with good wishes and champagne dreams.

One of which was from a co-worker, who was described as a Chinese guy, and an avid sailor. Our salty leatherneck is 25 years old.

"wait are you really 29? Wow. It's so strange to think about all the technological advancements that are going to happen between now and when I'm 29."

"Get out of my office."

"When I'm 29 I"ll be able to e-vite everybody to my party from the computer in my brain."

"Get the fuck out of my doorway! I'm serious."

"When I’m 30, assisted living facilities will be called quarantines and we’ll all be under the rule of Kim Jong Il."

[Now giggling]. "Really."

Happy 29th, my friend.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Connections I Made Today

Bob Woodruff, the correspondent seriously injured January 29th in Iraq, went to Colgate. So did his wife.

Wendy Wasserstein, playwright, was the sister of Bruce Wasserstein, the financial king of Lazard. She convinced Bruce to purchase New York magazine from Primedia two years ago, as she was a big fan. Their cousin, once an aspiring actor, is the now-head of CBS, Les Moonves.

It's confirmed, officially, by an employee of NY Mag, that Oliver Platt the actor is indeed the brother of Adam Platt, the New York mag food critic.